*Not to be confused with the popular CrossFit Workout of the Day (WOD)
You guys, I literally just received an email titled “Wedding season is coming!”. Oh joy. I was hoping for spring but I guess wedding season will suffice.
What is this phenomenon known as “wedding season”? Is it a few months where the sunset lighting is justtt right for engagement pictures? Is it when venues have special deals or when caterers are feeling extra generous? You know what, let’s just get right to the root of this post. What is with this wedding obsession that seems to be invading women’s social media accounts, their over-drinks conversations, hell even all their thoughts? SOS, someone with ovaries please help me understand.
Natalie, my younger sister, called the other night and asked me point-blank, “When do you think Brandon is going to propose? Dillon is proposing to me this year and I want to make sure there’s at least 2 months in between our engagements.” Jaw? Meet floor. She instructed me to check in with Brandon and get back to her with a ballpark so that Dillon (her boyfriend) could plan accordingly. She then requested that I start to grow my hair out (I’ve got a lob AKA long bob) because the hairstyles she’s envisioning for her bridesmaids require longer hair. Okay, I’ve never been able to grow my hair out past my shoulders; no matter what vitamins I take, how many hairdresser recommended trims I get, it’s #loblife for me. But Nat wasn’t hearing it, she actually suggested I look into getting extensions (no thanks). Alright team, say it with me, “Bridezilla”.
Natalie is the type of girl who has intricately organized Pinterest boards dedicated to wedding decorations, bridal party photo poses, wedding dresses, etc. She’s the girl who has known for years what venue her wedding will be taking place in, what her first dance song will be, whether her and her husband will smash the first bite of cake into each other’s faces or feed it to each other sweetly. She tests out different versions of her married name’s signature in her notepad, keeps a running list of wedding registry items in her phone, and has already trained her dog to be her ring bearer (which, sorry I’m not sorry, will be the cutest thing ever).
I’m not that type of a girl. Emails hyping up wedding season get deleted #byefelicia. I’ve never perused through online wedding dress boutiques and fantasized about how I’d look in the off-white strapless mermaid one. I have no idea what my something old, something new, something borrowed, or something blue will be. I haven’t even decided whether or not I want the full wedding shebang. Will someone please explain to me what’s wrong with a simple and affordable courthouse wedding?
I do know that I want to get married. I look forward to my relationship finally having some legitimacy (I can’t tell you how tired I am of hearing “Oh you’re just dating?”), receiving those married tax benefits ($$$), and having legal decision-making rights (Brandon is accident-prone) but those matters don’t actively occupy my thoughts.
I don’t fully understand girls who obsess over their future weddings like my sister does. She had her whole wedding planned before she even met Dillon (who, bless his heart, is a total trooper and will gamely play his role in her pre-determined wedding). Isn’t it the partner who matters most? Isn’t the marriage more important than the wedding? A wedding is an expensive one-day party, a marriage is a lifetime. Or at least, it should be. I mean, I understand getting excited over planning a big birthday party (well in theory, I personally don’t like celebrating my birthday but that’s beside the point). You pick the perfect location, plan the perfect menu, decorate your space to the nines and then the night comes and it goes (hopefully) perfectly. People notice the little decorative touches, love the themed cocktails, compliment your outfit, and enjoy each other’s company. But then the night ends and you have to clean up the next day, hungover. What then? What’s next? Normal life. So in the case of my topic, the wedding you’ve been planning for 1, 3, 7 years has come and gone and what are you left with? A marriage. A lifetime with the guy you probably weren’t even thinking of, maybe didn’t even know, when you created your Pinterest boards on save-the-dates, bridal bouquets, and shower themes.
Why don’t girls have Pinterest boards dedicated to date night ideas (gotta keep that bond strong), strategies for disagreeing constructively (it’s not always rainbows and unicorns), or tips for navigating your relationship with your new Mother-in-Law (heaven forbid someone be more important to her little boy than her)? I think those subjects would be healthy for future-thinking girls to obsess over. If you’re excited to be promising your partnership and life to someone, shouldn’t you be trying to make it the best damn partnership/life possible? Shouldn’t that be the focus?
Related side note- What do women obsess over/Pinterest once their wedding comes and goes?